and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
