He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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