I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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