This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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