I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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