When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
