do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
