Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
