I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
