i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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