My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
