I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
