Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
