tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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