you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
