I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dear god my vagina.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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