Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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