I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
