these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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