If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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