Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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