Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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