Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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