this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
