she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
