My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
