is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
