I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize