I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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