Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
