We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
