yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please don't give away my fajitas
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