Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
