so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
