I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
