No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
