Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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