it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
