my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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