I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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