Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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