A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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