so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
