They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can I color on your dick again?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
