i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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