I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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