I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
