he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
