ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
