I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
