everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
how drunk are you?
Several
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
