i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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