I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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