whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
