So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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