i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.