somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
