Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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