It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
