After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Text me some of your sweat
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
