So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize