So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The air was thick with penises
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
