1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
