Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
